Considering Divorce? Here’s Where to Start
Thinking about separation? Considering Divorce? Not sure what to do?
If so, you’re not alone.
According to the latest statistics, more than 50% of marriages in the United States end in divorce.
While the divorce process may seem daunting, it’s important to remember that many couples who divorce eventually find happiness in their new lives.
A lot can depend on how things end with the present marriage.
If you’re considering getting divorced, we think it’s a good idea to start by gathering information and establishing a well-thought-out plan.
In this blog post, we’ll discuss the steps you may want to take before telling your spouse, “I want a Divorce.”
When is the best time to get divorced?
This is a difficult question to answer, as divorce proceedings are often quite unique.
However, there are some steps that you can take to help make sure that you’re making the best decision for yourself and your family:
1. Talk to an Attorney
It’s important to talk to an experienced divorce lawyer about the specifics of your case before making any decisions or filing any paperwork.
2. Educate Yourself
It’s also important to educate yourself about the divorce process and any local rules, protocols, and forms that may apply to your legal matter.
For example, the Mecklenburg County Local Rules of Domestic Court are thirty-six pages long and can be quite confusing if you’re not experienced with navigating our legal system.
4. Gather Documentation – Materials
An incredibly important aspect of divorce involves gathering materials and documentation.
In order to provide sound legal advice, divorce lawyers need information.
We need to understand and review things like temporary living arrangements, any proposed settlement agreement or separation agreement, and determine whether there is a history of domestic violence, substance abuse, or marital unfaithfulness. Most people don’t realize how truly complex a marital estate can be – Bill Powers, Charlotte Divorce Lawyer
We regularly ask clients to provide materials and documents, including but not limited to:
- Financial Statements – Bank Accounts, Checking and Savings Accounts
- Summaries of Marital Assets
- Credit Card Statements
- Student Loans
- Employee Benefits Handbooks
- Retirement Account Statements
- Life Insurance Policies
- Important Financial Documents
- Marital Property
- Separate Property
- Joint Accounts – Individual Accounts
- Marital Assets – Cars, Jewelry, Homes, Investment Properties
- Living Expenses – Copies of Budgets
- Mortgage Documents – Deeds, Promissory Notes
3. Consider Your Options
You should carefully consider all of the options available to you, such as divorce mediation or collaborative divorce, before making any decisions.
Why Hiring a Divorce Lawyer is So Important
An experienced divorce attorney can help explain the process and what to expect.
To be clear, separation and divorce fall within the category of a “major life change.”
4. Create a Budget
You should create a budget that takes into account the cost of living, as well as any attorney or court fees associated with filing for divorce.
5. Seek Counseling
If you are struggling to make decisions about whether to stay married or file for divorce, it may be helpful to seek the advice of a counselor or therapist.
Ultimately, it’s important to remember that each situation is unique and that you should carefully consider all of your options before deciding whether or not to divorce.
In addition, it’s imperative to be honest with yourself about why you are considering a divorce and what is truly important to you.
If you are considering a divorce, it’s important to take the time to make sure that you have all of the information and resources necessary to make an informed decision.
This can include talking to an experienced lawyer and seeking counseling if needed.
Family law attorneys encourage clients to consider their options, educate themselves, and create a budget.
That way, you can ensure that you make the best decision for yourself and your family.
Are there things to avoid?
When considering a divorce, there are certain things that you should avoid both in the short-term and long term.
In the short term, it’s important to avoid making any hasty decisions or rash statements while discussing your potential divorce with your spouse.
This can lead to unnecessary conflict and hurt feelings between both parties.
PODCAST: Alimony, Child Support, and Family Law Issues
Additionally, it’s a very good idea to avoid talking negatively or harshly about your spouse with friends and family and especially your children.
This can create an unproductive atmosphere and make it more difficult to reach an amicable agreement between both parties.
In the long term, avoid making any major financial decisions before discussing them with a lawyer who is familiar with the NC Divorce Law.
That may include things such as:
- Marital Debt – Credit Cards, Medical Bills, Student Loans
- Marital Assets – Bank Accounts, Vehicles, Cash on Hand
- Marital Home – Investment Properties, Beach and Mountain Homes
- Child Support
- Life Insurance Policies
- Health Insurance
- Retirement Accounts
- Marital Property / Separate Property
Avoid taking any drastic actions or steps, such as changing your will or the beneficiaries of insurance policies, before consulting with a lawyer. 
Finally, it’s important to avoid making any rash decisions about custody arrangements for children without discussing it with both parties and ensuring that everyone is in agreement about what works best for the family.
To be clear, there may be disputes about Child Custody and Support.
The family law attorneys at our office prefer to recognize and anticipate potential areas for disagreement and plan a course of action, as opposed to attempting to correct a misstep after it’s been taken.
By avoiding these things, you can ensure that the divorce process is smoother and more amicable.
What are things people don’t think about before getting divorced but they should?
1. Finances: Most people don’t think about their finances before getting divorced, but it is essential to understand the financial implications of a divorce, such as the division of assets, alimony, and child support payments.
2. Child Custody: It’s important to consider who will have custody of any children involved in the divorce and the appropriate parenting plan.
3. Communication: Going through a divorce can be a highly emotional process, and it’s important to consider how you will communicate with your ex-spouse throughout the process.
Having an effective method of communication can help reduce arguments and misunderstandings.
4. Legal Representation: It’s important to have legal representation throughout the divorce process.
It makes sense to choose an attorney who you trust and who is experienced in your particular legal matters.
5. Mental Health: Going through a divorce can take an emotional toll on both parties involved.
It’s important to consider the mental health of all parties involved and seek counseling or therapy if needed.
6. Effects on Children: Divorce can be especially hard on children, so it’s important to consider how the divorce will affect them emotionally and physically.
Make sure to discuss any changes with your children ahead of time and include them in the decision-making process where appropriate.
How long does it take to get divorced?
The length of time it takes to get divorced can vary greatly, depending on the complexity of the case and the willingness of both parties to reach an agreement. 
The North Carolina Divorce Law requires a minimum period of legal separation of one year.
While many, if not all, the legal issues involving a pending divorce may be settled by way of a Separation Agreement, with limited exceptions and at minimum, a divorce will take one year in North Carolina before the Court (the Judge) may execute a Divorce Decree.
Generally speaking, working out the terms for a divorce can take anywhere from six months to several years or more.
Factors that may affect the timeline include jurisdiction-specific divorce protocols, child custody issues, division of assets, alimony and other financial considerations, and any disagreements between the spouses.
It’s important to stay in close contact with your attorney throughout the process to ensure that all paperwork is filed correctly and on time, as delays can lengthen the overall divorce timeline.
There is no set timeline for divorce, and individual cases can vary greatly in length.
However, with careful planning and attention to detail, it is possible to reach an agreement relatively quickly and settle any disputes efficiently.
With a collaborative effort from both parties, it is possible to avoid any lengthy delays.
Child Custody in North Carolina
If you’re considering divorce, it’s a good idea to work closely with an experienced family law attorney who can help ensure that your rights and interests are protected throughout the legal process.
If you would like more information about filing for divorce and what to expect during the process, please call our office now to schedule a consultation.
Before meeting with our divorce attorneys, we will conduct a Conflict Check and confirm the availability of the firm for legal representation.
Powers Law Firm PA does charge a consultation fee and hourly rates for Family Law matters.
Our law firm can help provide the guidance and support you need to successfully navigate the divorce process.
For more information about getting divorced, please visit our website: Charlotte-Divorce-Lawyers.com
If you have any other questions or concerns, please contact us directly at (704)-342-HELP
Do I need a lawyer?
We firmly believe it is advisable to consult with a qualified family law attorney before proceeding with any major legal decisions such as filing for divorce.
An experienced family law attorney can provide advice and guidance on the best course of action for your individual circumstances, ensuring that your rights are protected throughout the process.
A Charlotte divorce lawyer can also help you understand all of the legal implications of filing for divorce and can help ensure that the divorce process is handled correctly and efficiently.
Divorce proceedings are often complex, and having a legal professional on your side can make all the difference.
If you’d like to find out more about how an experienced family law attorney at the Powers Law Firm PA can assist with your divorce case, please contact us today.
Does it matter if I have kids? 
Clearly, the presence of children can significantly affect the timeline for a divorce.
If you and your spouse have minor children together, there will be additional matters that need to be addressed during the divorce process, such as child custody arrangements, visitation schedules, and financial obligations such as Child Support.
All of these issues can take time to resolve and may lengthen the overall timeline for the divorce.
It is important to remember that the best interests of the children should be kept in mind when negotiating any details related to their care and well-being.
If you have children, we actively encourage clients to work closely with your attorney and come up with a parenting plan that takes into account what’s best for you and your kids.
By working together collaboratively, it is possible to achieve a fair agreement that meets the needs of everyone involved.
For more information about how children can affect the divorce process, including the possibility of Collaborative Divorce, please contact us directly.
We’re here to help!
What is Collaborative Divorce?
Collaborative divorce is an alternative to traditional divorce proceedings where the parties involved work together to reach an amicable settlement outside of court.
It involves both spouses and their attorneys working collaboratively to resolve issues such as child custody, division of assets (Equitable Distribution), and spousal support (Alimony), PSS – Post Separation Support, or what used to be called “Temporary Alimony.”
The process is voluntary, and all decisions are made by consensus, allowing the parties to be in control of their own destiny.
This type of settlement is often quicker and, in the long run, can be more cost-effective than traditional divorce proceedings.
It is also less adversarial, which can benefit the children involved in the divorce.
We believe Collaborative Divorce allows for a more peaceful transition for the entire family.
The collaborative process often begins with both spouses meeting with a team of professionals, including attorneys, financial advisors, and mental health professionals.
The goal is to work together to reach an agreement that is fair and equitable to both spouses.
Each spouse has their own attorney dedicated to representing their interests during the process.
Throughout negotiations, the team works together to ensure that all information needed for settlement is exchanged openly and transparently.
In addition to the team of professionals, the spouses also meet regularly with each other and their attorneys to discuss progress, negotiate solutions, and review documents.
The collaboration allows for solutions tailored specifically to the couple’s needs and goals.
Through this collaborative approach, both parties can come away from the divorce feeling respected and satisfied with the outcome.
Collaborative divorce provides an alternative to more traditional, adversarial methods of divorce and can be a great option for couples looking for a peaceful resolution to their divorce.
If you are considering divorce, it is important to understand all the options available to you so that you can make the best decision for your family.
How much do divorce lawyers cost?
The cost of divorce lawyers varies based on the complexity and length of the case, as well as any additional services that may be necessary.
Generally speaking, the attorneys at Powers Law Firm PA charge an hourly rate for their services
Additionally, we may require a True General Retainer to secure the availability of the firm for legal representation prior to beginning work on your case.
Depending on your situation, the cost of divorce attorneys can range anywhere from a few thousand dollars to a rather substantial amount.
“Rarely is divorce inexpensive. Terminating a marriage can be a time-consuming, laborious process that involves the most important assets of your life – Bill Powers
A lot depends on whether the parties wish to proceed in a reasonable fashion.
We do not believe in litigation for the sake of litigating and/or causing harm or pain.
Clearly, divorce is often emotional.
Having said that, the best way to increase the costs of a divorce is to engage in rancor, dissension, and unnecessary litigation.
Additional Resources for Mecklenburg County Family Court:
- Mecklenburg County Local Rules DOMESTIC COURT – Mecklenburg County – 26th Judicial District – 2022
- General Rules of Civil Court – Mecklenburg County Mecklenburg County
- Mecklenburg Alternative Dispute Resolution Rules – Equitable Distribution – Equitable Distribution
When should I hire a Divorce Lawyer?
Sometimes married couples who plan on getting divorced think it’s a good idea to settle-up with a spouse and then retain a lawyer to draw up the necessary paperwork.
Clearly, it’s preferable to be reasonable and proceed in good faith in dealing with your spouse, particularly in instances where the marriage has fallen apart but the respective parties still care for one another.
Marriage offers an economy of scale that extends beyond just tax rates, deductions, and claiming eligible dependents.
Legal Separation and dividing a household often involve substantially increased living expenses.
Establishing and maintaining two separate households on the same income, especially when children are involved, can result in expenses that are in fact more than doubled.
It’s therefore understandable some might think they’re saving money by “working things out” in advance without the participation of legal counsel.
We understand short-term cash flow may be an issue.
At the same time, you worked hard for your house, retirement, 401K, and other personal and marital assets.
You should protect them.
Getting divorced is a major life event.
While an attorney is not required to prepare a Separation Agreement or to even file for divorce in North Carolina, once certain documents are executed and/or filed, some mistakes cannot be fixed – Bill Powers
If you don’t know what QDRO stands for (qualified domestic relations order) or what happens if you fail to timely allege a claim for Equitable Distribution, we urge you to consult with an experienced divorce lawyer in Charlotte.
I did some research on Google
The Internet can be a helpful source of information, at least during the formative stages of a divorce.
If nothing else, on-line research can get you up-to-speed on some of the important terms and general precepts of getting divorced in North Carolina.
Unfortunately, there is a tremendous amount of either misleading or incorrect “free advice” out there.
It is our considered opinion that self-help forums and purportedly “simple online divorce forms” involving post-separation support, child custody agreements, alimony, and Equitable Distribution are problematic at best.
Indeed, executing (signing) some agreements without the advice of a lawyer can have long term, negative, and irrevocable consequences.
It’s imperative to have a thorough understanding of your assets and the true value of the “marital estate.”
That often necessitates a review of bank records, real property valuation(s), mortgages, taxes, and the NC Child Support Guidelines before negotiating or agreeing to terms of separation.
Marriage by its very nature involves a comingling of assets.
Separating and distributing assets, hopefully without harming or reducing their value or incurring substantial financial penalties, can be a challenging if not vexing process.
We believe good decisions are predicated on having accurate, complete information.
That applies to both financial records and protecting your individual legal rights.
Some people tell their spouse, “I want a divorce,” not fully understanding the full range of consequences and how truly complicated determining child visitation, support, and distribution of assets can be.
“The financial aspects of ending a marriage are a common source of conflict and can be as troublesome as settling any hotly contested dispute in court – Bill Powers, Mecklenburg Divorce Lawyer
Before doing anything, perhaps even before telling your spouse you want a divorce, we think it’s important to fully understand your legal rights relative to your particular marriage.
You and your marriage are unique
Contrary to what some might think, one size does not fit all.
That is especially true regarding divorce in North Carolina.
Marital circumstances are rarely exactly the same from one marital relationship to another.
If that weren’t the case, it wouldn’t matter who you married.
What is important to you, how you raise your family, your faith, spending habits, and where you live might not mean a hill of beans to anyone else besides you.
That might even be true for your spouse.
There are reasons people get divorced.
As such, the advice of friends and family, as well-meaning as it may be, is all too often inapplicable to your individual matter, your financial condition, your personal concerns, needs, and circumstances.
It also may be flat out wrong and directly contrary to the divorce laws in North Carolina.
Even close friends and family often do not fully share the intricacies, difficulties, and nuances of their marriages.
Suffice it to say, some things better go unsaid.
Experience shows, those “embarrassing” and “unsaid” issues can be the reason for the divorce in the first place and possibly a point of contention in the future.
Friends and family also may feel it more important to support you and your feelings, rather than be brutally honest regarding certain issues and human frailties.
They also may not have all the facts or a full understanding of what the law is, rather than what they think it is or should be.
One of the benefits of the attorney-client privilege allows for complete disclosure of all the facts and circumstances of a divorce.
“You should tell your divorce lawyer the whole truth, even if it might be a bit embarrassing. Our job is to provide sound legal advice, not to judge you” – Bill Powers
Legal Reference Materials: Separation, Support, Custody, and Divorce
- What does Absolute Divorce mean?
- What does Joint Custody mean?
- What am I entitled to in a Divorce?
- How long does it take to get Divorced in North Carolina?
- Child Custody and Visitation During the Coronavirus
- NC Divorce Laws
What is a Collaborative Divorce?
Today we will explore the North Carolina approach to collaborative divorce. Established in 2003 via amendment to the North Carolina General Statutes, this legal process leverages alternative dispute resolution to help spouses complete the divorce process as quickly and efficiently as possible.
How Does North Carolina Define Collaborative Divorce?
In Chapter 50, Article 4 of the North Carolina General Statutes, we can find the state-specific definition for collaborative divorce, which is referred to legally as collaborative law.
Under Article 4, collaborative law is a legal procedure that allows a husband and wife to resolve divorce and other marital disputes without involving the courts. Instead of going through lengthy court proceedings, the spouses work together to find a mutually acceptable solution to their problems.
Throughout this process, the spouses will have to account for the standard issues in any divorce. They will have to agree upon the proper division of their property, distributing ownership as they see fit. If the spouses have children together, they will work together to determine the custody arrangements. In certain cases, they will also agree upon the presence and amount of child support, alimony and other support payments.
What are the Requirements for Collaborative Divorce?
As outlined in Article 4, the husband and wife must agree in writing as to the parameters of their collaborative divorce. To be effective, the husband, wife and their lawyers must all sign the writing. The written agreement must outline all relevant understandings concerning the collaborative divorce, such as property division, child custody and support payments.
There is an additional detail to account for with collaborative divorce agreements. If the spouses are unable to reach an agreement through the collaborative divorce process, the attorneys must withdraw from the case. Those same attorneys are not allowed to represent the spouses in future divorce proceedings.
Are Collaborative Divorce Proceedings Confidential?
Article 4 provides that collaborative divorce proceedings are confidential and privileged. This means that all statements, communications and work product related to the collaborative divorce would be inadmissible in future divorce proceedings. This applies to statements, communications and work product from the spouses, attorneys and third-party experts.
Do You Have Questions for a Skilled Family Law Attorney?
Whether you are dealing with collaborative divorce or other aspects of family law, it is vital to tread carefully. Fortunately, an experienced family law attorney can analyze your situation and help you work toward a positive outcome. Located in Charlotte, North Carolina, Powers Landreth PLLC is prepared to assist you with your family law case. Don’t hesitate to reach out to us today for professional assistance.
Resource:
ncleg.net/EnactedLegislation/Statutes/HTML/ByArticle/Chapter_50/Article_4.html
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North Carolina Collaborative Divorce
When most people think of divorce, a complicated, stressful, and costly image comes to mind. While many divorces do end up going down that type of road, especially when the divorce is contested and goes to court, there is an easier option available for couples whose relationship is still strong enough to discuss options face to face in a controlled, neutral environment. This option is called collaborative divorce, and it may be the right choice for you.
What is Collaborative Divorce?
To settle legal disputes, there are generally three accepted methods. The most recognizable option for many people is going to court (litigation) where a judge will make the decision for you after hearing the arguments of both sides. However, an article in Forbes estimates that 95 percent of divorces are settled outside of court. So how are people going about this? Arbitration, which is somewhat similar to litigation, is another option, which involves both parties entering an agreement to let an arbitrator settle the dispute for them. Both parties present their arguments to the arbitrator and the arbitrator will either make a concrete decision or the decision will be allowed to be appealed. Collaborative divorce is similar to arbitration in that it takes place outside of the courtroom, but neither party is forced into making a decision right then and there, and no third party will make the decision for them either. During a collaborative divorce, both parties come to a single room, or separate rooms, and present their sides to the collaborative divorce attorney. The collaborative divorce attorney takes no sides and has nothing to gain or lose by pressuring either party into a decision.
Why Should I Consider Collaborative Divorce?
There are many good reasons for going with a collaborative divorce over litigation. However, it should be kept in mind that in order for collaborative divorce to work, the communicative relationship between both parties must still be somewhat intact and the wishes that both parties have entering the process should already meet somewhere in the middle.
- Cost: The average collaborative divorce cost $19,723 which is less expensive than a traditional litigated divorce, which comes in at an average of $77,746.
- You control the outcome: The collaborative divorce attorney will help both parties come to an understanding and reach a middle ground in terms of asset and property division, child custody, alimony, and other issues. If a decision is made, legal contracts can be signed there or at a later date to enforce the decisions made equally by both parties. You are in control and can agree to or deny any offers presented by the other side.
Contact an Attorney Today
Whether you decide to go with litigation, arbitration, or collaborative divorce, you will need an experienced attorney at your side throughout. Call the Charlotte law office of Powers Landreth PLLC today.
Resources:
forbes.com/sites/jefflanders/2014/05/22/divorcing-women-is-it-best-to-litigate-or-settle/#3097c9e4618c
nbcnews.com/id/22315262/print/1/displaymode/1098/
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